The Two Vialest Things You Can Ask

A store clerk, at least. No thing can create such contempt, such a look of disdain and disgust as asking a clerk if you could use the bathroom or get some change. The horror, the occasional scoff. I imagine that I could better be recieved if I walked in with a bloody crow bar, almost out of breath, and said, "Hey, I just beat someone stupid with this here crowbar. You got towel I could borrow?" then if you asked for change or to use the bathroom.

Now, having been a clerk that works at a store that didn't have a public bathroom and had drawers that didn't open without purchase I can sort of understand. I mean really, I didn't want your smelly asses in my sanctum sanctorum, but I was never disdainful and always knew exactly where they could go to relieve their needs or call their cell phones from a payphone so that the owners know where it was. Because the Key Fob hasn't been invented

I'll grant that in my analogy it could be argued that the clerk is hedging his bets so that he won't be the next person smacked stupid with a crowbar. But I'm almost at the point where that clerk should be hedging his bets so I won't pee all over the damn counter.