Monday, November 17, 2008

Can't Say No

I just bought the last major piece of my audio kit, hopefully paving the way for my new career as a field audio mixer for television and film (mostly television, documentaries etc. Film is a whole different set of gear and demands).

Ultimately, this was a good deal. It's a quality recorder, has all the functions that I need, and I picked it up used at a third of the price it or a like recorder would go for.

And yet, a few mere hours since placing the order, I'm a wreck.

I realized a while ago that my problem with making decisions and buying things specifically is that I never view it as selecting one thing, but rather turning down a bunch of other stuff. I didn't decide to buy a mixer, I instead decided not to get any of the following-

- A less functional recorder and a still camera.
- Same less functional recorder and a used 3 CCD miniDV camcorder
- A cheap motorcycle
- A barrier mic
- A better shotgun mic
- Any of the other half dozen recorders I was looking at
- Replace the cool box in my bus
- Side tent for my bus
- PS3 or Wii

I could go on...

There are reasons that I made the decision that I did, and even better reasons that I didn't make any of the purchases I didn't make. But that doesn't mean that once I make a decision I don't feel like I shut down all the other options. I'm honestly more comfortable sitting here thinking of all the things I could do.

This might be from being poor-most of the time any amount of money I spend is in my fantasy world. It's hard for me to make the transition to all those fantasies to one reality is a hard one for me to handle.

This is probably the most telling aspect of my personality. I'm far more enamored with what could be than actually is.


  1. Oh, opportunity costs--I'm right there with ya. As an insider on this particular agonizing decision, I think you went the right way on it--good luck with the project.

  2. Unfortunately since I went with the all singing all dancing recorder, I have to wait on the still camera that would make my new project a reality (or the 3 CCD camcorder). But having made such a big investment, I hope that I'll remain committed to it and use the extra time to make sure I do it right. Also, I realized earlier today that I can start immediately working on a project for someone who in the past has worked tirelessly to make our projects a reality. The chance to pay back even a fraction of what we owe him makes it all kinds of worth it. I hope to be able to talk more about that here soon.